Notes of an Asexual Muslim

The problem with claiming that you’re not interested in sex is that people take it as a sign that: A. You haven’t thought about your sexuality, and therefore they must think about it for you, B. You are a deeply closeted homosexual and in denial, or C. You are a pastor’s kid, and pastor’s kids never find sexual happiness in life anyway because religion is an evil, libido-slaying institution*. All options lead to unwanted advice, blows to your self-confidence, and insults to your intelligence. I didn’t want anyone’s help in figuring out my sexuality, but I was embarrassed that I couldn’t put into words how I felt. “Not interested” didn’t cover it; I was interested in people, and in having close relationships, but not in expressing those feelings physically. Trying to express that, and finding a balance in my personal relationships, was difficult, and misunderstandings repeated themselves over and over.