(Obvious trigger warnings apply to the whole post, although there’s no graphic discussion of anything. If you don’t want to see this on your dashboard, I will be tagging everything related to this project with ”resources for ace survivors,” so you can blacklist that. )
I’ve decided that one of my summer projects is going to be assembling a resource list for asexual spectrum survivors of sexual assault and rape. I’ve seen the lack of such a resource mentioned several times online, and also had several conversations in person about the necessity of such a resource. Although we don’t have any official numbers (that I know of), anecdata suggests that it’s not uncommon for aces to be sexual assault survivors (and to receive rape threats fairly regularly). It’s also not uncommon for ace survivors to be afraid of reaching out for help (because of fear that their therapist will try to “cure” their asexuality, because they don’t know where to find resources, etc.). So resources need to exist.
That said, this is probably a ridiculously huge undertaking, and if I did all of it by myself it would A. probably not be as good as I’d like and B. not have as many resources as I’d like, since (despite what my professors think) I cannot read everything in the world.
Here’s where you come in:
If you have suggestions for things you’d like to see on the list (how to find therapists, lists of helplines, how to deal with PTSD on your own if you can’t get therapy, etc.), please let me know. I really want to tailor this to what people would find most helpful. Heck, if it would be helpful to include information on how to supportive of someone who’s a survivor, I can see what I can pull together.
On the other hand, if you have suggestions for any resources that should be included in the list, please let me know. I don’t know of any resources specifically for ace survivors, but if you know of any good resources (whether general audience or LGBTQ-specific) that could be adapted, I want to know about them. Also, I know how to find support on college campuses, but not a lot about community resources, so any information on that would be greatly appreciated.
If you are a survivor and are willing to give advice or share anything that you think others would find helpful (even if it’s something as simple as “this is how I deal with panic attacks”* or “I wish I had known ____”), my ask box is open and anon is on. I can also turn on submissions, if that would be helpful. I will not publish asks without your explicit permission. (Also, I reply privately to non-anon asks.) Alternatively, you can email me at email@example.com. I understand how hard it is to talk about this stuff, and no one should feel pressured into sharing anything. Only contribute if you feel comfortable doing so. (And if you don’t want to contribute but still want to talk to someone, my ask box is open.)
Basically, I’d like this to be the best resource possible, and since all of you are brilliant, I figure that anything you contribute will be brilliant. If you contribute in any way, I will include you in the list of contributors to the resource list (unless you would prefer not to be identified, in which case I will still include you as “anonymous”**).
If you would be willing to signal boost this post so that more people can know about it and contribute, that would be greatly appreciated. I’m not going to pull the “if you really care, you’ll reblog” card, ‘cause if you really care, you’ll take care of yourself, whatever taking care of yourself means to you. Again, if you don’t want to see this on your dashboard, I will be tagging everything related to this project with ”resources for ace survivors,” so you can blacklist that.
So, yeah, I think that about covers it. LET’S DO THIS THING.
*I recently learned that lying down and putting an ice pack (or bag of frozen peas, if you don’t have an ice pack) on your face (specifically across the bridge of your nose) will often help with panic attacks, because it triggers your “dive reflex,” which slows down your heart and respiratory rates. SCIENCE.
**Alternatively, I can make up a
silly fabulous pseudonym for you.